How to Say "sorry" in Chinese
The complete guide to saying sorry in Chinese — when to use 对不起 vs 不好意思, how to apologize sincerely, and how to respond when someone apologizes to you.
Quick Answer
duì bu qǐ
Tone: 4th–neutral–3rd
The Chinese word for "sorry" is 对不起 (duì bu qǐ).
Quick Answer
To say “sorry” in Chinese: 对不起 (duì bu qǐ).
For lighter situations — excuse me, pardon me, minor awkwardness: 不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si).
These two are NOT interchangeable. Choosing the right one matters.
How to Pronounce 对不起
- 对 (duì) — 4th tone: sharp falling
- 不 (bu) — neutral tone when mid-sentence
- 起 (qǐ) — 3rd tone: dips and rises
Say it: “DWAY-buh-chee” — brisk and clear.
对不起 vs 不好意思
This is the most important distinction in Chinese apology:
| Situation | Use |
|---|---|
| You broke someone’s phone | 对不起 |
| You bumped into someone | 不好意思 |
| You’re late for a meeting | 对不起 |
| Getting a waiter’s attention | 不好意思 |
| You said something hurtful | 对不起 |
| Asking a stranger for directions | 不好意思 |
Rule of thumb: 对不起 = genuine apology for a real fault. 不好意思 = mild social friction, embarrassment, or polite interruption.
Responding to an Apology
When someone says 对不起 to you:
- 没关系 (méi guān xi) — “It’s okay / No problem” (most common)
- 没事 (méi shì) — “It’s nothing” (casual)
- 算了 (suàn le) — “Forget it / Never mind” (can sound slightly cold)
- 不要紧 (bú yào jǐn) — “It doesn’t matter”
Examples in Sentences
- 对不起，我来晚了！ — Duì bu qǐ, wǒ lái wǎn le! — “Sorry, I’m late!”
- 不好意思，请问厕所在哪里？ — Bù hǎo yì si, qǐng wèn cèsuǒ zài nǎ lǐ? — “Excuse me, where is the bathroom?”
- 真的很对不起，我不应该那样说。 — Zhēn de hěn duì bu qǐ, wǒ bù yīng gāi nà yàng shuō. — “I’m truly sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Variations
- 非常抱歉 (fēi cháng bào qiàn) — “I sincerely apologize” — very formal, used in business or official contexts
- 我错了 (wǒ cuò le) — “I was wrong” — direct admission of fault; powerful in close relationships
- 请原谅我 (qǐng yuán liàng wǒ) — “Please forgive me” — emotional, for serious situations
Cultural Context
Apologies in Chinese culture function with some nuance around face (面子). A sincere 对不起 said directly is valued. However, in professional settings, admitting fault too openly can sometimes create awkwardness — the person you apologized to may feel obligated to downplay the whole thing, which creates a whole ritual of back-and-forth.
Don’t overthink it. Say 对不起 when you’ve genuinely done something wrong. It’s always appreciated.
Common Mistakes
- Using 对不起 to get someone’s attention — This implies you’ve done something wrong. Use 不好意思 instead.
- Not saying anything at all — In China, strangers don’t always say sorry for small physical bumps, especially in crowded places. But as a foreigner making the effort, it’s always well-received.
Practice
Practice these two back-to-back until they feel natural:
- Bump into someone: 不好意思！
- You forgot an important appointment: 真的很对不起！